Happy Birthday Honey!

Today is my husband's birthday. He's 48! Finally... catching up to me. Almost 20 years ago I met him at a public radio, outdoor music festival where I bravely walked up to him and asked him for his name and phone number. Of course he thought I was high and I thought he gave me a fake name because he rattled off some Italian long-ass name that I just figured was fake. Turns out, I was not high, just assertive and he did not give me a fake name, he is actually Italian!

I never imagined that on that day, the day I wasn't even going to go to the festival and then at the very last minute decided to go - who ever thought I would have met the man that 20 years later I would be sharing reading glasses with. We've had such a wonderful time (and some not so great times) over the past 20 years and I wouldn't trade one minute away.

Of course it's really about his birthday and I am happy to say he is outside right now in the 50 degree, misty, already drenched ground golfing with one of his best friends, so I know he's in his glory and doing what he loves most.

Happy Birthday Honey - and I hope you have many, many more!

Love, Lies and too much Power!

I am trying not to get too caught up in another one of the "beautiful people" problems going on right now, yes, I am talking about Maria and Arnold. It's hard not to though. I was watching The Cobert Report last night, and Stephen too was trying not to get caught up in the whole story and of course he ended up succumbing to the gossip - mostly because it's too hard to believe that Maria didn't know ANYTHING!!! Like Arnold was having an affair with a household staffer and Maria didn't know. Or Arnold had a "love child" with this women over 10 years ago and still... Maria didn't know!!!

I have to wonder if sometimes these wives look the other way for their own self worth. I mean if they are looking the other way to save the family or save the career of themselves or their spouse, isn't that a problem in and of itself? Isn't the long term effect of this whole story going to effect so many people? The "love child" himself, Arnold and Maria's own kids, the family of the "love child", etc., etc., etc.

Bigger question is WHY? Why do these men feel so compelled to cheat on their wives? Do they need that many outlets? Are they bored with the women they are married to? Are they that insecure? According to LiveScience, power and corruption go together. They say that men in power have feelings of invincibility and a "no one can touch me" attitude. They also have more opportunities to step out of line. "Power has been and will forever be entangled with corruption for various reasons" said Daniel Kruger, a social and evolutionary psychologist at the University of Michigan's School of Public Health. However, the general public think men in power need to have higher morals, do the right thing and set good examples. Yet these men in power think of themselves as invincible and will take great risks that could cause huge consequences. That's because they value the immediate rewards and don't really think they'll get caught or think of the "down the road" consequences. Kruger also explains that after a while of behaving this way, one's immoral behavior can become routine and one will stop thinking about their behavior consciously.

So back to Maria and Arnold. I can't even process how she must feel, especially if she really did just come to find this out in the last few months as they claim. Can you imagine being married to someone for 25 years and finding out that not only did they cheat on you but by the way, they had a "love child" that has been a part of your home for the past 10 years! I am not sure how she'll ever be able to trust any one - especially a man in a relationship, again.